Valentine's Day is can be a magical time, or a time of total
disaster. On that date we want you to enjoy a night of fun. Most men know by
now not to talk with a mouth full of food or to wipe their mouth on their
sleeve, but some dining etiquette points can..
1. Soup: Differentiate yourself from the rest of the pack –
remember the proverb, “Just like ships that sail out to sea, I spoon my soup
away from me.”
2. Invitations: The person extending the invitation is the host
and is responsible for payment of the bill. When extending invitations, inquire
about special dietary requests such as food allergies or kosher, halal,
gluten-free, sugar-free and dairy-free diets. Book a restaurant that
accommodates these needs. Guests don’t split the bill.
3. No table additions: Keep your smart phone, wallet, keys and
glasses off the table.
4. Pre-arrange payment: If you want to be a sophisticated host,
arrive early and provide a credit card, or call the restaurant ahead of time to
pre-arrange payment. Your date will appreciate that everything is handled
seamlessly.
5. Napkin knowledge: As the host, place your napkin in your lap
first. When excusing yourself between courses, the napkin is placed on the
chair seat soiled side down. At meal’s end, place your loosely folded napkin on
the left of your plate. Don’t refold it.
6. Please take my guest’s order first: Polite comments to the
server such as ‘Please bring my guest…’ or ‘my guest will order first, please,’
let the server know that you are the host.
7. Sommelier: For a pleasing pairing, tell the sommelier what
you like and the entrées you and your date ordered. You can provide an idea of
your price range by pointing out 2-3 wines in your price range. The sommelier
will stay within those ranges. Don’t say how much you want to spend.
8. Avoid a catastrophe: Alert the server to allergies and
sensitivities such as eggs, gluten, salt, sugar, and spice. If the server lists
4 types of dairy as part of a secret specialty sauce and doesn’t mention eggs,
protect yourself. Say: “I’d like the house specialty, but I can’t stand eggs.
You didn’t mention eggs, but I know sometimes there are hidden gems.”
9. How many courses? Order the same number of courses as your
date. This avoids awkwardness and allows you to pace yourself with your date.
10. Pacing the meal: Make sure to take your time eating and
pause after every few bites, since you don’t want your date to feel rushed
during the meal.
11. Sending food back: If you must send your food back because
it is not cooked to your liking, it’s your responsibility to insist that your
date start eating.
12. Silent service signals: If you are resting between bites,
place your fork, with tines up, near the top of your plate. To signal the
server that you’re finished, place your fork and knife across the center of the
plate at the 5 o’clock position.
13. Silverware savvy: Once silverware is used (including
handles), it must not touch the table again. Rest forks, knives, and spoons on
the side of your plate. Unused silverware stays on the table.
14. Refreshing beverages: Don’t pour yourself a drink first. If
there is a carafe of water or beverages on the table, always pour for your
date.
15. Sharing food: Depending on how well you know your date, you
may unobtrusively pass a bread plate for a sample before a first bite.
16. Eating difficult foods: Boiled lobster? Artichokes? Avoid
panic attacks by planning what you’ll order ahead of time. Read the online
menu, call the restaurant about daily specials and do your research beforehand.
17. New serving trend: Traditionally, professional wait staff
have served food from the left and removed food from the right. Beverages are
poured and removed from the right. Be aware of a new trend of serving from the
right and removing from the right.
18. Nonverbal cues: Oh server? A closed menu indicates you are
ready to order. If you or your date are browsing an open menu, the server has
the impression you aren’t ready. Catch the eye of the server if you need
assistance, or slightly raise your index finger pointing up. If she is busy,
softly call their name or “server”?
19. Conversation: As the host, it’s your job to keep
conversation going during the meal. Don’t hog the conversation—ask your date
questions, light topics include books, travel, vacation, movies, pets; avoid
politics or religion.
20. Fete accompli: When you place your loosely folded napkin on
the left side of your place setting, dinner plate, dessert, or coffee, the
dinner is concluded.
21. Tipping: Always leave a tip at restaurants: bartender:
10-15% of bar bill, valet: $2.00- 5.00,
coat check: $1.00 per coat, server: 15-20% of bill; 25% extraordinary service,
sommelier: 15% of wine bill. The tip should reflect the total price of the bill
before coupons, discounts, or gift certificates.
Happy St. Valentine !
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